First of all, let me congratulate Ikey once again for being the 2014 CyberZahm RotoGolf champion. He drafted well and managed his team well, and even though he lost Dustin Johnson at the end, and had a Kooch with a bad back, he was able to hold off Hans’ Holes down the stretch. Congrats also go out to our other position money winners: Hans, Willo, Sobo and Al.
 
As I say every year, there are many different ways to win and lose money in our golf format. I like it that way because it gives you something to root for throughout the season even if your team isn’t contending for the championship. Let’s get to this year’s numbas:
 
-Ikey is our champion, and to the champion goes the riches. Ikey wins $708.60. One of the things that really raised his final total was the league best $248.50 that he won in the majors side bets. His only shortcoming was that he didn’t win more skins. Still, he has enough to throw a nice party. Add to that the fact that he also won a bottle of booze from Jack and bottles of wine from Andy and Mags. PARTY TIME!
 
-Hans was the runner-up and he wins $207.15. His total could have been even better had his Ace Holes done better in the majors side bets and won more weekly skins.
 
-King Willo finished third and he takes home $144.30. He mopped up the weekly skins, but his Beatoffs’ poor performance in the majors side bets held his winnings lower. Had Al’s Balls not bested his low team score in week 33, Willo’s total would have topped what Hans takes home. Still, Willo should be happy that all those below him this year are money losers. I’m sure that brings a smile to his face!
 
-Sobo finished in fourth place, but he loses $37.55. The second worst skins performance, and losses in the majors side bets are what kept his team from the black.
 
-Al’s Balls climbed into the final money payout spot on the last weekend, but his team still lost $171.65. He can blame poor performance in weekly skins and the majors side bets for those losses. Luckily, his team did sweep away $90 for having the low team score of the year in week 33 (a 27). That kept his losses south of $200.
 
-My Skins finished sixth. Other than Billy Horschel in the last few weeks, I hated my team. I really hated Tiger. He BLOWS! It’s hard to recover when you get nothing from your first round draft choice. I lost $243.50, the second biggest loss of the year. Luckily, Horschel’s two victories the last two weeks put my team in the black with four weekly skins, otherwise the losses would have been even greater.
 
-Fox’s Phuckers finished in seventh place and lost $167.00. His team’s good performance in the majors side bets are what kept his losses south of $200.
 
-Jack’s Smoothies finished in eighth place and lost a league worst $271.15. He got killed in the majors side bets, and had it not been for a Grand Slam Skin and five weekly skins, his losses would have been north of $300. Jack also helps Ikey throw a nice party by sending him a nice bottle of booze.
 
-Mags Mullies finished in ninth place and lost $106.15. They won a Grand Slam Skin and also did second best in the majors side bets. Those things helped keep the losses at a very manageable amount. Mags also owes Ikey a bottle of wine, but as he writes his check he can sip wine from the bottle he won from Andy.
 
-Andy’s Hookers turned tricks in the cellar most of the season, and that’s where they ended. They can find some comfort though in the fact that they lost only $63.05 thanks to winning two Grand Slam Skins and doing OK in the majors side bets. Andy will also be sending vino to Ikey and Mags.
 
The accounting spreadsheet is attached if you want more details.
 
So, per the rules that say draft spot selection order is determined by most dollars lost to most dollars won, the draft spot selection order for our 2015 draft will be:
 
Jack
Gabes
Al
Fox
Mags
Andy
Sobo
Willo
Hans
Ikey
 
The draft slot selection will begin on Monday, December 1st.
 
Congrats again to all of the money winners, and better luck next year to all of the losers. 
 
I’ll pay the winners once I’ve received all checks. Ikey, Hans, and Willo, please send me your addresses so that I can make certain I have the correct ones. Those who lost booze and vino should make their own plans to get the bottles to the winners. Let’s try to do all of this quickly so that I can close the books on the 2014 season and start looking forward to 2015. As most of you know, the new season kicks off again in a couple of weeks. We’ll join the fun as always with the Hyundai Championship just after the New Year. I kind of like this new format because it lets you see how guys are doing before we draft in later December.
 
Commissioner Asshole