Final Weekly Note

Well, it was a forgettable year, for the most part, for my ForeSkins, 
but Jim Furyk gave me some glimmer of excitement by winning a skin for 
my team yesterday at the Tour Championship (with my Luke Donald 
finishing second). Believe it or not that was my sixth skin of the 
year (putting me in a tie with Mags for most skins this year). 
How could my team have been so bad?

As expected, those teams with more guys playing went pretty low in 
the 30 man field. The lucky, dumb Bleeper (aka, Fox) tied Al for 
the weekend low at 72. Mags was next best at 78, followed by my Skins 
at 99 (How come my team was so bad all year?). The other four scores 
were butt ugly given the small field, with Hans' Holes scoring a 
weekend worst, butt ugly anytime, 247.

Congrats to the lucky, dumb Bleeper (Fox) for taking first place. 
He's been sitting on the throne for most of the past several months, 
and he gets to sit on it until the 2011 season kicks off in January. 
Jack's Smoothies take second place, with Al's Balls in third, Mags' 
Washers in fourth, and Hans' Holes dropping all the way to the final 
money spot on the last weekend. My Skins finish in the cellar.

I'll try to get to the final payouts sometime over the next week or so, 
but I'm very busy launching an industry these days. Remember, draft 
slot selection order will be determined by who lost the most money 
down to who won the most money. As you know, sometimes the last place 
finisher in golf is not the one who lost the most money.


WrapUp

Another Roto Golf season comes to a close, and this one finds
something quite rare. Just three guys ended up in the black at the
conclusion of the 2010 season. As you know, there are many different
ways to win (or lose) money during our season. You can really clean up
if you do well in all of them, and only one guy managed to do that this
year. Fox takes home first place honors, but it was second place Jack
who won the most money. Fox takes home $306.69. Three unclaimed Grand
Slam Skins helped increase the first through fifth place payouts, but
Fox's Phuckers did lousy in weekly skins and sub par in the Majors Side
Bets, and the cheap fucker was afraid to wager much on his team back in
January, so his net winnings were lower than they could have been. Jack,
on the other hand, takes home $404.95, almost $100 more than the lucky,
cheap, dumb fucker. Jack did well across the board, especially in the
Majors Side Bets. The only other guy to make money was fourth place
finisher, Mags. Mags tied for most weekly skins (6) with my ForeSkins,
and taking home the low team score bet (26) added $70 to his side bet
total. Mags takes home $19.55, plus two quality cigars from Jack and me
on a side bet.

Everyone else was a loser. Third place Al finished in the red at minus
32 cents. I think this is the first time that the third place finisher
lost money. Al can attribute that to doing poorly in weekly skins, and
absolutely sucking hind tit in his Majors Side Bets pools. At least he
had the privilege of having Martin Kaymer on his team for the Fed Ex Cup
Playoffs. Hans finished in the final money payoff spot, but he lost
$124.20 primarily because his team was lousy in weekly skins, side bets,
and the Majors Side Bets. His losses would have been even worse had it
not been for the one Grand Slam Skin that he got when Lefty won The
Masters. Sobo's Seekers finished in sixth place, but they actually lost
less than Hans' team because Sobo cleaned up in the Majors Side Bets.
Sobo loses $42.60. Tiger may have done well with hookers this past year,
but Andy's Tiger-led Hookers didn't turn many tricks this season. Andy
loses $192.47. His losses would have been even worse if not for a decent
showing in the Majors Side Bets. As for my ForeSkins, they pretty much
sucked all year in everything but weekly skins. I throw the party and
lose $371.60. Roto Golf BLOWS!

So, based upon who lost the most money to who won the most money, the
draft slot selection order for the 2011 draft is as follows:

1) Gabes
2) Andy
3) Hans
4) Sobo
5) Al
6) Mags
7) Fox
8) Jack

As for the payouts, Hans, Sobo and Andy should send checks payable to me
to my home (). Al, I won't make you
write a check for 32 cents, so I'll cover you. You can buy me a small
candy bar the next time we get together. I'll send checks to the winners
once I receive all payments from the losers. Jack, I'll leave it to you
to get Mags the nice cigar you owe him from the Davis vs. Howell Turd
vs. Love Turd side bet that the three of us had.

The accounting spreadsheet is attached if you want to see all of the
ugly details. Congrats to the three winners, and better luck next year
to us losers. Start studying. The Draft Slot Selection process for the
2011 draft will take place two months from now on Monday, November 29th.

Gabes (aka, Commissioner Asshole)