All,
    Make no mistake about it: The Road to Cyberzahm Rotobaseball's 2002
Championship will travel once again through the home of the 2001 Champion
Mazins.
    I'm not saying that anything is a certainty, we all know that
injuries/luck/alignment of the planets, and Players' Union issues can and
will be significant contributors to this year's outcome, but just a cursory
investigation of player rosters shows the real power still rests with the
current champions.
    Nonetheless, this seemed the most competitive draft of all to date (for
most players, that is, with a few exceptions as will be noted), and the
allure of opening day beckoning ahead should be well anticipated by all.
    Now to get inside the numbers:

1) Tamales:  Did you notice how the Tamales got a little testy at the end of
the draft when it was intimated that they had been on the clock for an
excessive period of time?  Don't you think that you would get a little testy
as well if your last few picks were Tomko, Ventura, and Ankiel?  That (plus
a soon to be released worthless pitching pick) summed up the Tamales efforts
in this draft:  a brilliant start with A-Rod, followed by a mediocre
middling and a horrendous finish.  Still, the Tamales are always led by
aggressive management (be forewarned, Tony) and can never be fully counted
out until at least August.  Andruww (never trust a guy who spells his name
funny) Jones is a great defensive player and I'm sure he will rob hits from
all of the other roto players, but it's time to recognize his lack of
offensive skills for this game.  Giles was a great pick surrounded by no
support, but the rest of the Tamale outfield consists of wannabe
underachievers.  Kent still hasn't told the truth about his wrist and
Hairston couldn't hit in Rochester.  That will weaken the mid-infielders
around A-Rod.  At the corner, Clark could have a huge season with the
Blowsox or he could be his miserable lack of getting it done self again.
Hinske is scheduled to be rookie bust of the year.  Oh,yes, and there's also
another Pirate at the corner.  Not a strong corner.  Catching is adequate
but so what?  Pitching will feature Fat Boy Colon and the aforementioned
Brett Tomko and Rick Ankiel, blossoming era's that should be in full bloom
by mid June.  The bullpen is average at best with the uncertain health of
Rob Nenn and certain ineptitude of Wickman.  Prediction:  a middle of the
pack finish for the Tamales who will fade late, just as they did in this
draft.

2) Willo's Hogmen:  Thank God for comic relief in this draft.  It's a shame
Todd Helton is stuck with this bunch of freaks.  Look at the round 7 through
11 picks for this team:  Lawton, Hidalgo, Ortiz, Cabrera.  Strike the fear
of God into your heart?  That about sums up this mess.  Weak pitching, weak
hitting, no management skills.  Prediction: a basement finish filled with
drowning rats, very tunnel-like: dark, desperate, and a cold black hole down
which much money will sink.

3) Expectorators:  Nice draft for the 2nd year man from the Jayhawker state,
but his inexperience showed late.  Gibbons at the UT spot?  Maybe he was
thinking of that old Negro league player, Josh.  Perhaps he just wanted to
have him room with Jose Mesa; I think that he played in that league for
about ten years when he used to be in good shape.  Mesa and Alfonseca can
play hide the burrito with each other this year while Fred McGriff tells
them what it was like back when you were allowed to plug a man running
between the bases.  Prediction:  If the democrats keep control of the
senate, these senior citizens won't have to worry about losing their social
security pensions.

4) Invinceables:  Nice team.  Should be one of the contenders for top honors
this year.  I say that with all confidence because this is a team that Willo
thought to be horrible.  What a great endorsement.  Unfortunately, the
Invicibles showed signs of tiring late in the draft as well.  Miller?
Johnson?  Williams?  Conine?  And Robert Fick in round 11?  Or were you just
trying to balance off the Knoblauch pick in round 9?  Prediction:  will fold
late, later than Sobo.

5) Muckrats:  Not bad for somebody who doesn't even own cable TV.  Still,
too many question marks: Thome with nobody around him in Cleveland?  Biggio
on the downside?  Kapler?  Kapler?  And don't forget about grandpa Mark
McLemore.  Nah, this team is just in to round out the field.  Prediction:
Yet another second tier finish.

6) The Lavender Letters Gang:  Not bad for yet another promising youngster
in this league.  Catching is weak, but he has solid corners, a good MI,
Promising pitching and an OF that ....... oh, yes  ....... there is that OF
issue.  Damn, and you were doing so well, too.  Oh well,  maybe next year:
Prediction:  a hell of a golf year but a baseball finish in the middle of
the pack.

7) Leathernuts:  Amazing.  Other than worthless Doug Mentkiewicz, he almost
made it through without a Twinkie on the roster.  Perhaps Mel was out of
town.  Actually, I like this pitching staff and ..... not much else.  Thanks
for playing again, Prep.  Be sure to pick up your play at home game on your
way out.  Prediction:  Above Willo.  Slightly.

8) Ballbusters:  Never was $158.75 spent so worthlessly on rotomagazines.
Why didn't you take some chances on some promising youngsters from the
Kenosha Little League?  Adam Dunn in round 4?  Have you been paying
attention to Mr. Can't Miss this Spring?  Hollandsworth in round 12?  Ease
off on the Jack Daniels, there, big boy.  Ishii?  Gesundheit.  Prior?
Richard would have been funnier.  Ensberg?  Sorry.  Any one of these
prospects might have been acceptable but you took the grab bag special.
There's bound to be losers in that sack and they will drag you down.  A
solid group of players doomed to fail  through classic over-managing.
Prediction:  The language will be blue by June.  Very blue.

9) Foxes:  The usual solid, well formulated team.  But, oh those late picks.
Planet Carl will doom an otherwise well built outfield.  No bullpen won't
help either.   It will be the difference between a championship and a second
place effort.  Nice try commish.  You are once again a bridesmaid.  Second
place is for solid mathematicians.  You have a beautiful mind hiding behind
your ugly face, but it won't help your ugly club.  Prediciton:  another
solid year - outside the winner's circle.

10) Panzas: Interesting squad.  Picked by newcomer GM, Anthony "Fat Tony"
Mancussi, the Panzas look to add a little Pizzaz to the league as usual.
Unfortunately, Uncle Al's let's just fill in the OF strategy will leave this
team about as short as some Brooklyn loser's envelope on bag day.  About as
short as David Justice's .240 batting average will be.  A first tier club
who's history can never be counted out, but don't look for old dame luck to
come calling again.  Prediction:  Behind the Foxes but ahead of the Tamales.
And the Mazins are still waiting for that Summer confrontation when Vernon
Wells steps into the box to face Kerry Wood.

11)  Mazins:  SEE WINNERS/CHAMPIONS/STUDS/ROTOGODS.  It's almost not fair.

12) Nomads (not to be confused with the Nuzzahs):  Interesting strategy.
All speed, pitching, and no pop.  Interesting.  But very stupid.  You should
have had a long conversation with the commissioner who attempted this
ill-fated strategy years earlier.  Still, the Nomads will be fun to talk
with come trade deadline days.  Who knows?  A couple of early moves could
balance this club out and make them a contender.  Prediction:  It won't
happen.

13)Pinstripers: Well, hey.  He was moving and all.  What did you expect?
And then there was all that loneliness to deal with.  If anyone can
challenge Willo and Prep for the cellar spot, it will be this collection of
expansion era losers.  Just a horrible team.  There is nothing else to say.

    That's it.  I'm sorry if the truth hurts.  Deal with it.  Just remember
to have fun and wager with your heart, not your head.  I'm waiting.  Let's
roll.
Mazins