I know you all have been waiting to hear what a real student of the sport
thinks about your last two weeks of bad judgement, hasty decisions, and faulty
thinking. I will be brief and to the point.  Your teams suck.  Especially
YOURS (yes, I'm talking to you!).  I can't spend a lot of time on the details;
I need to consult my investment advisors to help me plan what to do with all
of the winfall profits I will have from this little baseball brokerage.  So
short and sweet, the rankings (and boy are they rank) and suggested re-names
of the rest of the so-called "teams":


1-  Nomads, aka "Next Champions",  who will not wander around this year but
instead will head for the top and stay there.

2-  Ballbusters, renamed the "Forever Hopefuls" - these guys will be fast out
of the gate, but will run out of gas by early August as the pitching staff is
packed away for R&R.

3-  Invincibles - renamed the Vulnerables. Good OF, C,  and pitching, but
gaping holes in the infield will leave this team getting picked apart down the
stretch.

4- Expectorators -  renamed the Spit-toons.  A comical bunch, especially with
the lead brainfarts of Quinn and Mecir.  But  Terry's hand-wringing and
sleepless nights will net him a top-tier finish.  Kohlmeier could be the
sleeper closer-pick of the year.

5- Panzas - renamed the "Foul Vowels".  Usually this manager favors players
with nice paison-sounding names, preferably ending in"a" (there's no other
reason he would have picked his second C).  This strategy has worked well in
the past, but Al went astray this year and as a result this team is faced with
a consonant challenge.

6-Mazins - renamed the "Misnomers". Decent pitching, but lots'o'longshots on
offense will leave this team unamazing and mystified when all is said and
done. This team gets the award for most players with "z' in their names
representing  different nationalities.

7- Muckrats- renamed the "Frequent Flyers".  Such were John's picks.  Good
speed and pitching, but no power and weak in relief.  John will be busy flying
to California to see his sweetie and flying to the free-agent pool to sweeten
this team.

8- Hogmen - renamed the "Hopeless Ones".  Good thing Willo will be busy
milking the taxpayer out of more tunnel funds.  The rest of the league will be
reaping the benefits of their bets with the Hogs.  "Agbayucki" said Gabes, and
I loved it!

9- Tamales - renamed "Not-Worth-Waiting-Fors".  You would think that with all
the time Sobo spent sleeping on his picks that he would have come up with
something good.  Caminiti?  Reggie Sanders? Arrojo?  Loiaza?  Rogers?  Go back
to sleep, and dream on pal.

10- Red Foxes - renamed the "Red Faux Pas".  What an embarassment for our
esteemed Commisioner.  I used to think Fox was a keen judge of pitching.
Well, Fox thinks he is a groundhog, saw his shadow, and went back into
hibernation with his team.  It won't be ou again in six weeks either.

11- Pussjackers - renamed the "Lacklusterjackers".  I knew Jack couldn't stay
away from those Reds long enough to put together a winner.  Plus, he has that
bum Leiter on his team.

12- Pinstripes - renamed the "Pinheads".  Come on Ike, get out of the HOF and
look at the current stats!  Where's the power? Where's the punch?  Pedro won't
carry the pitching and Hidalgo won't carry the offense.  Let's play some golf
this summer so you can take your mind off of this travesty.

13- Leathernuts-  I can't top Andy's assessment of this bunch of Twinkies, but
I have a better name for them, call them "Stinkies".


Over and out,

Mags