To: Editor, Baseball Weekly
From: A. M.
Subject:  Subscription Cancellation
Date: 3-17-00
cc: Cyberzahm

Dear Sirs,
    Please cancel my subscription to your weekly publication effective
immediately.
    I have just finished reviewing your "Fantasy Guide 2000" edition and
find it the most appalling piece of worthless non-information that I have
seen since reading the Ball Buster's draft analysis (true, your publication
was not nearly as lengthy or boring, but an amazing lack of insight was
common in both pieces.)
    How could you not recognize the pending stardom of Preston Wilson?  And
before you begin to question my vision, let me remind you that it was I who
discovered Carlos Feebles.
    If I were to believe the lies that you put into print, the Mazins could
be expected to finish as a distant last place, non-contender.
    Get real.
    While others may enjoy such gibberish, I have no time for your in-exact,
un-scientific, and totally worthless appraisals of the highly talented
lineup that I have assembled.
    Please file this letter of cancellation in your October files and return
the same with your apologies and offerings for employment in advance of next
year's issue.  Hopefully, I won't be too late to save your magazine from
extinction.
    When the leaves turn brown, I WILL wear the crown.
Sincerely,
The Mazin McDerMETS